...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
either way he was missing a nipple.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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