His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
