but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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