so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
