I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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