this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
