Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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