he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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