so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Holy shit dude........stairs
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
