There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
