You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize