i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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