i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
