I'd wear matching sweaters with you
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize