If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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