idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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