So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You should frame my arrest warrant.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
