tell your sister to shave her snatch
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
