I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
