There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
