thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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