i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
