We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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