i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
And then he peed in my hair
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