Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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