Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
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