I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
