and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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