people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
