She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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