Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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