My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
