Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
