I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize