ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
