she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
We had sex on a dog bed..
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