Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
