the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
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Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
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There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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