ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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