PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize