you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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