So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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