i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
