Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
