also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
