I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
