so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize