So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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