if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
