i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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