I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
