I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
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