Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
