Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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