Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
