Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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